The Bootlegger's Chronicles Bloggable

Fake Debates, Make Believe Polls, & Blackouts

2008-10-16T07:58:00.003-04:00

read this article from our guest author: thenothing

Once again, rogue bloggers are left to ponder this question towards their growing community. As fake war uncles and imaginary bridges are debated upon no one mentions the other people ready to prove their worth to the American public. The biggest lie of them all is the lie that the Negro Americans have been fed and have regurgitated that there is only ONE Negro running for the highest office in the land. If Negros truly believed in finding the “truth” they would have turned to the side and spotted two other Negros running for the Presidential Office. Alas it is time that Negros in America stop crying as their true falsehoods and ignorance to their surroundings shine through. Not only are there two other Negros running for president, but one of them is a woman and her running mate (another woman) is also Negro with Puerto Rican Heritage. Cynthia McKinney, Ralph Nadar, Bob Barr and Chuck Baldwin will all be on the same ballot as the Messiah and the Geriatric War Vet yet they have not been put in the spotlight.

full article

standing ovation

2008-10-08T20:11:00.000-04:00

A round of applause to non-browns, Masters of TRICKnology. Creators of Misconceptions. Houdinis to the truth. These amazing creatures have made it their lives work to deceive and steal. Now the non-browns have amazed browns once more through the Magic Mirrors of Politics. Non-browns make a habit of taking whats old and reinventing them as new. Why would they do this? To capitalize from the ignorant who rather look down on the past in favor of the latest trends. What is the latest trend for 2008? The new revised Turncoat: Barack Obama. Browns have allowed him to become the newly created Messiah. Non-browns have given browns their second coming as prophesized to them by their Pulpit Pimps.

full article

clay comes out? when was he iN?!?

2008-09-24T22:55:00.000-04:00

excerpt:

Two years and four days later he decides to go back to People Magazine (one of the outlets that celebs go to so they may jump out of the closet with pride) to say “Yes, I’m Gay.” Was it really a question Aiken? I knew you were sweeter than a king size bag of Skittles the moment you showed up for try-outs on American Idol. Was it a big deal then? No. Is it a big deal now? NO! Maybe Clay and the rest of the world forgot that the Gay Bullhorn, Rosie O’Donnell sound his

full article

the hunt for black november

2008-08-29T13:39:00.000-04:00

excerpt:

Democrats need the Republicans to be labeled as evil so they can yell “us vs. them” at all the campaign meetings. Bam-Bam is performing the way the victims need him to. Will it benefit them in the end? I highly doubt it but we’ll see.
I’m tired of Bam-Bam reiterating empty promises and all the slogans his camp can discover. When are people going to demand better from all who run for office? It seems that people have forgotten the okey doke that is performed every election and Bam-Bam’s performances are raved. The crowds seem so ready to be bent over in the name of Change that they are ignoring blatant flaws in this election. Fear is thick in the air and its choking us all. Who can scare who the best to drum up excitement.

full article

Bootlegged Flashbacks vol. 5

2008-08-22T12:13:00.005-04:00

The artist known as Sananda Maitreya will always be Terence Trent D’Arby (Terence Trent Howard) to me. He was a slightly taller Prince knock-off with dreads and a more feminine look. I was never a “fan” of D’Arby but he was a bit interesting for a while. He was the latest Neo-Soul artist for the DBPC (Dirty Backpack Click) to love and feel one with. He allowed them to feel and be different, and that was cool. When one wanted to escape from rap, rock, and pop, D’Arby was an alternative.

Not sure if this is true but from what I’ve read, D’Arby adopted the name Sanandra Maitreya after dreams he had but legally changed it in 2001 on October 4th. In an interview he declared Terence Trent D’Arby dead. He “watched his suffering as he died a noble death,” but why couldn’t he simply be placed in a coma? What if he wanted to change his mind? Seems that d’Arby was doing the “artistic death” thing and wanted to just reinvent himself. He might have felt shackled by the W.O.S. and wanted out with a new start.

Though from NY (Manhattan to be exact) D’Arby was in the army but was discharged after going AWOL in 1985 while in Germany. He was in Elvis Presley’s old regiment, if anyone cared. 2001 saw D’Arby/Maitreya return to Germany to begin his own recording label, Treehouse Pub; and the release of his first album in six years. He took an unreleased album from his D’Arby days and revamped it to Wildcard under Maitreya. We’ll delve more into D’Arby in his own separate article on The Bootlegger’s Chronicles next month.

Sit back, draw the shades, place the phone on vibrate and go back to the 80s.
You can view more Bootlegged Flashbacks on The Bootlegger's Chronicles: Blogged

Terence Trent D’Arby: Sign Your Name

Focus: SwitchBlade

2008-07-28T16:11:00.002-04:00

The good people over at FuelMyBlog put out a call for their community members to participate in an interview and the call was answered by none other than The Bootlegger's Chronicles' very own SwitchBlade!

Check out the interview: Fuel SwitchBlade.

Don't forget to fuel TBC!!

Bentley: The New Charm of MTV

2008-07-22T23:48:00.004-04:00

First, this is the same house that Viacom has had in EVERY SINGLE love & charm school show they have dealt with. Now Jaime Foxx is privileged to use it and calls it the “Gentlemen’s Club.” They changed up the decorations but it’s the same damn house; at least from Charm School. Blazers and some manners don’t always make a gentleman so we’ll see where this leads. There were rumors about a second season of Charm School but that would be frightening. The new show is From Gs to Gents hosted by Fonzworth Bentley, and it has become one of my new shows to love to hate to watch. Also watch for Bentley’s butler, Fredrick; he also cares for the “Gentlemen’s Club.”

Check out the full review on this episode and others at The Bootlegger's Chronicles: Blogged

Hot Mess - Flava Flav Style

2008-02-11T22:36:00.001-05:00

It's official, Flav has returned and he's hungry to ensure that he finds a woman this time around; or so he'd like us to believe. Thanks to New York (the Muppet look-a-like, not the state) finding her White knight, Flav has been encouraged to return to VH1.

New tricks and hoes to wiggle for the attention of Flava Flav!! Oh joy. Not only did he get dumped three times but the third chick left him to sell blue jeans. Shut the hell up!!! So from calling out that Spanish chick for "not being there for Flav" this chick went to sell blue jeans and wiggle in a music video.

LOL. The madness is too great.

So more dumb broads are on television and Flav has some BUSTED chicks this round - more than usual. There is even one soooooo ghetto that she cannot build a sentence. Sweet Lord!!! Here we go.

Flav asked for classier chicks but alas has ended up with trashier broads. ONE chick was riding a fake elephant and folks were breaking stuff on day one. Massive baby mammas looking for gold with a diaper in one hand and a shovel in the other. Fighting already about who's here for Flav and who's not. Here we go again in deed. There are even twins!! DOUBLE THE MESS.

Too much trash to digest in on one night. Flav said that he was going to allow the girls to give themselves their own names - but some were so whack he renamed them. So much for empowerment. One weirdo came with watches all up and down her arms... TIK!!! LOL Another di-di-di, Shy, wanted to take the other girls on a ride of strangeness and battle.

The ugly twins were appropriately named Thing 1 & 2. (Flav said it was because he liked them from the story Cat in the Hat, but we'll say it's because they reflected Thing from The Addams Family). Let's just say that Shore-Tee - is simply dumber than a brick wall. Enough said. Then there's Peachee - another Internet winner (LOSER). Then Savanna - NEXT!!! The last chick, Mayammee, came off as a straight jump-off.

I must agree with Flav because his Internet fans were simply sending comedy to the house. These girls would not be Flav's choice. Yeah, yeah beauty is skin deep and all but Flav wants to bus' a nut sometime this season.

Can we be honest? Let's be honest. Let's be friends for two seconds so that we can clear the air. This show is strictly a way to get Flav more ass than usual. A reason to bang out a group of chicks and call it a search for love. We have bonded with this feeling since the last season of Flava Flav and we can accept this. We have accepted this. So let's not be shocked that Flav kisses and bends over more than half these chicks - it's expected. Simply enjoy the ride.

Back to the show.

Shy - teeth reminded me that I wanted to see Jaws again in memory of the star who passed away this month. She might bite off Flav's face. Then we have Ice, a self-proclaimed radio personality who says she doesn't know why she's there - to Flav.... Dumb, dumb, dumb! Why are you here????????

Dymes, she had her one-on-one moment with Flav. One of the few cute ones. A criminal justice student - is she here for research???? We all know he's been in jail. Just might NOT work. Next up, the Things. They are willing to share Flav. Are they willing to share baby duty as well? El, cannot speak!!!!!!!!!! Damn, why is she so hungry to speak?? She makes no sense. Just bend over and enjoy Flav. No empty poles available for El?? She's missing the comfort of cold steel right about now. Bunz is an open freak. She is already speaking about how she's into women, men, will try anything at least once. Damn, can Flav offer you a date first? She might settle for one of the other girls as runner-up ass.

Oh, Tik-Tok. You make Flav's heart rock.... out of sheer fear mamma. You are an obsessed fan given the opportunity to meet your idol up close. Run Flav, run!!! She's waiting for you with a baseball bat to break both of your ankles like 'ol girl from Misery!!!!

Of course Shy is rolling up to be the next Ms. New York. Asking girls if they are ready to raise 10 kids?!! Aren't most of Flav's children grown???? Why, Lord Why!??!!!! Shouldn't we look for inspiration during Black History Month???? LOL

Another moment where women are getting carried away and touching his face. HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT!!!!!! Strike 1 Rayna!

So now, Flav's #10 fan, Rayna, (posing as his #1) begins to grill another girl in front of Flav asking "What you know about Flava's clock? I've been following Public Enemy since I was yea' high... I know what the movement was about I know why he has the clock on the 12 and the 6 - tick tock." Well Flav asked Rayna, "What's the deal with my clock?".... SILENCE! *cue crickets* She started yapping a load of crap - turned out WRONG. Talking about how we as Black people needed to look at ourselves - *BEEEEP* Flav's answer: "Time is the most important element of our lives and we can't afford to miss it." I hope the heffa took notes. Well, she can always refer to our site for the answer.

In steps the Internet Winners. They are rolling up trying to spend time with Flav. They both took him off and just stared at him. Peachee and Savanna had nothing to say. Are they serious???!!!!!! Prancer was up next - she really did look like a Reindeer. She quickly lost Flav to Ms. Underbite and Gold Toofus. Next up to bat was Seezinz. A sob story and a picture of her brother. Thanks - we needed that moment to calm things down. More than half these chicks did not understand the phrase - "Don't Touch My Face."

Shy proved to be a tattle-tale. She had no game and was rapping to the camera. Shy was trying to get rid of Bx but is quickly reflecting the times of New York - we can't have that again. We might get stuck with another show with a drama queen and her bible thumping, young boy humpin' mamma. No thanks!

Flav begins to hand out the clocks.... The first one showing nerves: Ice. Boy did she have reason to. One dumb response had that chick on the Maybe List. Ice and Tik both received clocks. Guess Flav is allowed to have pets in the house this year - he kept Prancer. Senseer & her forehead got a clock. The Things not only share a brain but they now share a clock as well. The Internet chicks were dismissed, as well as the criminal justice student.

The preview of the season looked pretty good. Mess is mess but they are hysterical. The dates and trips look great but too bad the chicks are there. More fights and more drama, just what the world needed.

Technorati Tags: Flava of Love,Flava Flav,New York,VH1,crazy,ugly,women,trash,drama,television

Gangster Comes Back to Hollywood

2007-11-02T12:18:00.000-04:00

The story of Frank Lucas and Richie Roberts is visited in the amazing film, American Gangster.

Read full story at TBC: American Gangster!

Will Hollywood recognize the amazing acting ans story telling that went on in this film or ignore it with so many they have done before?
Can the story of a powerful Black man being brought to justice find justice at the Oscars?

Peace OUT Yanks!

2007-10-09T07:44:00.000-04:00

Now time to do the house cleaning that should have been done from jump. What took so long? It's been years since they won a ring and rookie teams were beating them at the Point of No Return.

Twelve years was a good run Joe but your team was losing it's edge. Over paid players were on the team and not bringing their A game!

Who should be booted is a great question.

K-Fed Gives Parenting Tips

2007-10-08T10:55:00.001-04:00

SNL give a good skit about K-Fed gaining custody of his children:

Will this fool take this as a stepping stone to becoming an adult or will he end up losing the children to Brit's family or Child Protective Services?

Sloppy Negro Alert 2

2007-10-04T20:43:00.000-04:00

Here we go again. Marion Jones finally comes clean regarding her steroid usage when winning three gold medals in the 2000 Olympics but why now? She was in the clear. Seven years and she was scott-free or was she. I guess facing jail time because she was involved with a check fraud scheme had it's way in waking her conscience.

I bet the Steroid Patrol is just going to wait for an few more years before Barry Bonds comes clean too... Well it'll be a short while before he too is doing something crazy to score some cash.

Cabbie On Fire?

2007-10-04T12:47:00.000-04:00

Now we've got the first Poster Child or shall we say Poster Cabbie to lead the Cabbie Strike. His name, no need to say because he's got enough publicity as is. His claims: the GPS system caused his cab to catch a blaze. Really? Now the Alliance is trying to claim that the GPS is the least reliable machinery invented by man? Then why are folks buying trucks and cars with them already installed by the thousands? Why is the industry selling more on top of that to individual car owners?

Let's keep it real, as the kids would say. Did you install the GPS yourself? Did you get a friend of a friend to do it? Mechanics say that it doesn't pull much amps to cause a fire - so what's the new excuse why you don't want to get the equipment installed.

We're looking forward to hearing more of you nonsense in the coming weeks.

Spear's Family

2007-10-04T11:52:00.000-04:00

Where were these people as the Aunt now claims that they are all afraid that she'll "spin out of control"??

Can I get some of what they're smoking?!!! Hello!!!!!!!!! The children are now in the custody of Daddy Dearest......... What the heck? Once a mother losses custody of her children shouldn't that be considered "spun out of control"?

TBC: Blogged Updates

2007-10-04T08:23:00.000-04:00

New articles are up on TBC: Blogged.

Sloppy Negro Alert

Everyone's A Better Mom than Britney

are just a few of the new stuff...

Get your 2-cents in while you can.

Adopt A Mexican

2007-10-02T07:52:00.000-04:00

The time has come to stop ignoring the inevitable. Times they are a changing and we need to roll with them or get rolled over. With all the hub bub about immigrants coming into this country and "taking" American jobs we should just welcome them with open arms. I mean why should Americans be the only ones to live a crappy existence in the United States?

Not to say anywhere else is better. I am very thankful that I don't have to dodge missiles and rocks every morning as I go off to work. I'm thankful that I can get my dirty water from a running pipe indoors. I'm grateful that I can be stared down by a complete stranger on a train ride that i am paying $4 for. What else could anyone ask for?

So instead of getting upset I say let's implement a program were we Adopt A Mexican. Who else to begin this great program than Black people. After all Blacks can be considered the care-givers of the world. When slaves were dragged here who else was to nurse and nurture the children? When grandma got sick, who else was to nurse her back to health in the nursing home? So why not extend this love towards the Mexicans coming into the US.

With Adopt A Mexican folks can open their home to the newly arrived and show them the ways of our great land. How to jack what was already in someone else's care; How to twist the law in your favor; How to mambo through red tape and much more. Now some may want to bring along family members but the adopter must be forewarned that this may be a huge undertaking. Please choose wisely. Also interpreters will be given to each family as the adoptees may not feel the need to learn the English language. Why should they, most Americans don't know the English language either so they'll be in good hands.

Please let's not stop at the Black families, Latinos are more than welcomed to join in on this process as they would be the next best choice. Not only would the need for an interpreter be lessened but the familiarity could be great. Lend out that helping hand and let's make this the country that beats out China to have the most people in half a square inch.

Alas, Mexicans are not the only immigrants coming into the US. We have Indians, West Indians, Africans, Europeans (yes, they are still coming), and many more. So we are revamping the name of our organization to Adopt An Immigrant. Please read all fine print as exchanges are honored within 7 days and no returns after 9 days.

Have a great one.

Make moves biotch and stop bullshytting.

K-Fed, Father of the Year?

2007-10-01T22:39:00.000-04:00

Who would have thought that even though Mr. Goldigger is finally stepping up to the plate folks would still be mad at him? Not only is he fighting hard for the money, I mean the children, but he's doing a great job at pointing out all the flaws Britney has. Compared to te crap she's going through right now he looks fabulous. He just convinced a judge to give him PHYSICAL CUSTODY.... Seriously??? I almost couldn't believe my ears when I heard the news but alas there it was ever so clear & plain as day.

Seems that the asme day she was supposed to be looking for a class sign-up sheet to learn "How to be a Parent" she went out on the town instead. Ummm, who the heck actually goes to these things and comes out a "better parent"? What do they teach in those things anyway? Is Lesson 2: How to open a proper can o' beat down after lesson 1: How not to get knocked up by a gold digger? Sometimes it does pay to listen to mom & dad.

From driving without a friggin' license to performing drunk with a broken shoe and bad wig on MTV VMAs the judge is having a field day. If I was Brit I would clean up my act just so that I wouldn't have to give one extra cent to the Man-Ho. You know he's trying to fund his non-existent rap career.

If it smells like bullshyt it must be...

Another Day of Crap On A Bench

2007-10-01T20:30:00.000-04:00

Judge David Young is still on the air and singing on the bench. The weirdos are on the loose and they want TV time. More people wanting to gripe about not getting a fair shake and sue, sue, sue must be the next step. Not just to sue but to sue on TV. There's some fool talking about he gave a woman a house to rent and decides to show up & enter her domain without permission.

All he ever had to say was that he was there to care for the home and he felt that he had reasons to roll up just in case. Ummm son, that's a no-no. Then he wanted to whine about her being a month-to-month tenant but even after she wasn't giving money he never tried to evict her. Well what was her excuse? Mr. Landlord was up in her house having sex with her sister and was even getting mail. Was this really necessary to bring to court? Accusations of lies were thrown around until the defendants sister came in to confirm the sex-capades.

Do courts really go through this? Are there really cases like these going on? Dang, it must be exciting to be a judge.

K-Vlle Is A Head Scratcher

2007-10-01T20:28:00.000-04:00

What is really going on with this show? Is Fox serious about this show lasting? This is supposed to be about the cops in New Orleans trying to get together and help bring Louisiana back to it's prime. It seems like a Boomtown after Katrina. Will this too feel the fate of the Cancellation Gods?

Some down falls:
1. Ummm, the star? Yeah I'd say Anthony Anderson is a huge hang nail on this bad boy. Seems that everything he does has little effect on us. There's no good impressions with him when he's around. Most movies are lucky not to have him as the anchor. Unfortunate for this show.
2. The writers. Have we not learned from NBC & Passions? They had to find out the hard way that writing crappy scripts for actors to try and pull out of the garbage was never going to work. So will K-Ville be moved to Satellite TV too?
3. The show is on at night.
4. The show is on for one full hour.
5. The show is still on a line-up.

The up sides:
1. The show is only on for one hour.
2. They've got to cancel it sometime.
3. Maybe it won't reach syndication privileges.

Well, I'll be awaiting the cancellation list and keeping my fingers craossed that this will be on it. Some have said that it may get better but I don't see that.

A Variety of Trash

2007-10-01T13:11:00.000-04:00

No one said it better than Stewie and Brian of Family Guy as they gave thier salute to TV at the 2007 Emmy Awards:

Finally, Someone Is Worthy To Cover

2007-10-01T12:43:00.000-04:00

Well just when we thought no one in the Hip Hop arena can create a song that a non-hip hopper would want to cover we find Mandy Moore on Yahoo! Music taking on Rhianna. Umbrella has brought amazing success to this Bajan Princess and she's been riding the wave with a smile. Officially she can ride it over to the cross-over section and begin to build on that. She just may come out of this career with a decent catalogue that others would want to cover.

Besides isn't that the goal at the end of the day? To come with something that others would want years maybe even decades down the line? Don't people want to be remembered with "classics" instead of as One Hit Wonders or is the mindset to collect the check and keep it moving? If that's the case then music and entertainment as a whole is completely dead. Is there anyone willing to revive it? Keep it alive? Or should we just throw in the towel and accept mediocrity?

MTA Has Done It Again

2007-10-01T12:21:00.000-04:00

Just when riders got used to paying $2 bucks per ride to get back and forth while avoiding traffic jams the MTA has pulled out the flashlights and stuck it up New Yorkers tailpipes once again. They are in search of serious money and they will not rest until they have found it. Now each rider is looking at an increase that will cost them $2.50 or more just to go in one damn direction. $2.50? Damn, for all the dough they get they still bullshit about not getting enough money to make repairs? Then why didn't they maintain the damn system before it got so bad that the tunnels are practically caving in?

What took so long to decide that things needed repairs? The bad thing is that they don't seem to be focusing on repairing a damn thing. Instead they are all about building new lines & buying new, cute and useless trains that shine and carry less than half the passengers that the old broken down cars do. Well we would love some focus on trying not to cram us into cars with people whose body order & breathes are humming out of harmony. People who could seriously use an ENTIRE PACK of Tic Tacs or Altoids or even something stronger like a tongue remover to help what they are going through.

No way should someone come out of their home or their jump-offs home reaking of funk. Not even the good funk but just funk. Then we've got the cars that don't even have air conditioning in the Summertime. I feel like I'm driving with a cheap uncle who thinks me sweating out my just done do on my way to a wedding is the "sacrifice" I have to make because the air conditioner sucks up gas; and gas is too expensive. Do the trains even run on gas? NO!!! They run on electricity which New Yorks know all too well especially when there is a blasted Black Out. I doubt that if you add up all the mileage in walk-a-thons you'd still come up short when comparing them to the amount of walking New Yorkers had to do when the damn electricity decided it was too hot to work. Plus there are supposed to be more increases on the horizon. AWESOME....

Well as The Bootlegger's Chronicles says you can either "Keep bitching or keep it moving". I'll choose to keep it moving. MTA's got a great scam going on and I want in. Not as anything but one of the top guns. I too want to hold BS meetings and get paid lovely. With the governor on your side you can't go wrong.

Television on Vacation?

2007-10-01T12:17:00.000-04:00

With the new Fall Season upon us it seems that the television execs have gone to sleep. Maybe we should do the same as well. Most of these should have been rejected from the start but alas they were not and we and our TiVos/DVRs are stuck to watch this crap. Enough is enough and by NBC cancellations will take place!

Jesus On Credit

2007-09-25T16:44:00.000-04:00

Well just when I thought shit couldn't get any worse we now have Giving Kiosks in the Church. Want to give some offerings - step up to the Kiosks. No longer for the quick withdrawal before hitting the clubs or bars now if you don't have cash on you simply key in your pass code & BAM - the Lord will hear your prayers.

Now some might say that it's not that bad or it's not "buying" prayers but what else would you call it? Is it really that serious to have an ATM machine in the dang church? Aren't a few of the sermons about money being the root of all evil but yet you have a dang ATM machine chillin' at the door?!!! :shock: :?: :shock:

Then again there are those sexy Bingo Nights! Can't have the parishioners rolling up and running out of dough. What about when we have the annual Church Bake Sale? You know you want Aunt Mable's Apple Turnovers & Pumpkin Pies!

Maybe the Devil made you do it.... :twisted:

Either way there seems to be money in them there hills. A Pastor in Georgia and his wife are now selling these to other Houses of Worship at $2,000 to $5,000 a pop per Cash Magnet Giving Kiosk. There also seems to be a licensing & support fee for up to $49.99/month. (Dang, I wonder when my Church license will come in :???: ) Plus a card processing fee of 1.9% each transaction. A tiiiiny fee goes to the Pastor's business of course.

The Protestants in the South seem to be making the most of these so far but I'm sure others will catch on. The funny thing is that even though so many have decided to swipe for the Lord, they still drop in the receipt as proof of homage to the good 'ol days. Some do say that offering is a part of worship. Why don't we offer some time or a helping hand instead? Oh well...

Things just get better and better....

Don't forget your receipt!

Jesus on Credit

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-meeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn

Believing is your right; not believing is others.

Dreamgirls 4 Britney

2007-09-09T23:53:00.000-04:00

Wow, I've never had a chance to rewind my DVR for live action before but this mess was worth the extra $8 for the privilege to do so. As I watched in horror, with I'm sure at least half of the world, I couldn't believe that this is what everyone was waiting for. My brother even had me on the phone for one hour (on & off) before the dang show trying to hype me up. Supposed to have been the highlight of the evening. Everyone was awaiting a comeback. But then something strange happened. As I cleared my aura from the bad God awful performance of Nichole Sw.. somebody from Pussycat Dolls I was bombarded with what seemed to be a shell of the artist formally known as Britney Spears.

She turned around to a screaming audience but greeted us all with a wild end of a mop on her dome and a smile that we were to never see again. I think the screams of cheers turned to tears of silence. Then she walked & soon stumbled down a semi-high step/platform with the help of some dancers. She seemed as though she was about to fall but didn't. She was to never recover from that. The performance just got worse as time went on.

She wasn't the size of Rosie O'Donnell but she was not the fit Brit that she sold to us only a few years ago. She seemed to not even be gleeful to be there. The backup performed better and with more joy than the dang highlight. Why did she look drunk? Why did she look stoned? The stories are flying even as I'm typing but my brother & I will get the scoop after 8 Am. By then the liquored up folks will be semi-sober enough to coherently tell the full story.

She should just take a night to watch Dreamgirls and memorize Effie's parts. She's pretty much going through the Effie moments but without the group and with drugs and alcohol. Sing with us Brit: "and I am telling you...." don't be shy girl: "I'm not going..."
We're right here.. waiting for you to clean up and sing.... "I am changing.... trying every way I can.... I am changing.... But I need you, I need a hand...."
We'll help you as best as we can dear.

So while being embarrassed for this chick I'm off to bed.

Can't wait for the morning news.... *hangs head in sheer shock*

No Heaven 2 Go 2

2007-06-12T10:55:00.000-04:00

What would you do if you died only to learn that you had no where to go to? Picture it. No Heaven, no Hell, not even a Purgatory. Simply you & a figure staring at each other.

The Figure: "How may I help you?"

You: "Can you point me to Heaven please?"

Figure: "Sorry, no return trips allowed."

You: "Return? What are you talking about?!"

Figure: "You just got off the express from Heaven.

You: "That's impossible. I was on Earth and died.

Figure: "Some call it Earth, others call it Heaven. I have even heard many refer to it as Hell. In the end it all turns out to be the same. Life is what you make it as the saying goes. C'est la Vie!"

You: "I did everything in the Bible inspired by God. You're the Devil trying to trick me. Hell, Heaven and Earth are nothing alike."

Figure: "Heaven is what you make it. Are you sure you've done everything right?"

You: "I demand to see God or Jesus or even St. Peter! Is there a waiting room? Purgatory? Where's that, I heard that's where souls go while awaiting judgment. I demand a second opinion. "

Figure: "Waiting room? That was your train ride over here. Obviously you're upset. Let me get you to one of our counselors."

You: "Counselors? No get me Jesus!

Figure: (laughs) Some call Him Jesus, some call him Joe. He likes the name Bob the most. Unfortunately He was your conductor and will not return until the next scheduled arrival. Many have difficulties when they realize they were in Heaven all along. So many are disappointed to learn that all they had to do was open their eyes and be thankful for all they had. Enjoying life and others should be Heaven enough. Too many are "living for Heaven" and not the "joy of living". Yes, there are many that would call this "blasphemy" and could be living delusions that this would never happen to them. Then again many simply fear the unknown and unanswered questions. So caught up with seeking answers that they fail to realize that all answers lead back to the same questions."

You: "Are you saying there's no God?"

Figure: "Whatever you seek will always be around you. Through Free Will you are given the choice to believe in what you want."

You: "So what do I do now?"

Figure: "That would seem to be the question. A counselor will be with you shortly. Take a number and step to the side. Thank you and have a pleasant existence."

This scenario is in no way created to make you question your beliefs. It's just been a scenario created.

Believing is your right; not believing is others.

Straphangers: Get Off My Train

2007-05-02T09:02:00.000-04:00

Sometime I feel like the ghost on the subway that Patrick Swazye's character, Sam Wheat, met; first on a train & then on the platform. When homeboy threw him off the train I knew how he felt. Sometimes I even see that same look in other Straphangers eyes. The look of how dare you invade my personal space. How long is this ride going to take? Why is this train crawling? The main reason these questions are usually asked is because there is someone in that same car that is making the trip miserable. Most of the time it's only because they themselves are miserable.

Then one morning I had another uneasy pleasure of standing there minding my own business waiting for my stop when some dude came on insisted on standing over me. I in the mist of his morning musk and that was not something to be proud of. Question of the Day: How do you come out of your house rank? How can this be? Why is this even an option? Did your sense of smell take time off? At first I thought he must have come from a night job - somewhere. Then it happened. It was on the phone telling his supervisor that he was running late because the trains weren't running. Say what?! Not only are you late for work but you're going in raunchy. Soooo, since you're already late you couldn't shower and just take half a day?

Since experiencing this I now understand why some New Yorkers vow to never step foot on a train or bus without probable cause.

Make moves biotch and stop bullshytting.